I hate "First post!" posts...

Six years ago, when I was just about to start college, I had my future all planned for myself, as most cock-eyed optimists fresh from Catholic high school do. I was going to major in elementary education, I was going to land a GREAT PAYING!!! job in my home diocese and I was going to marry and have children and settle down and blah blah blah.

It's funny now, because I hardly recognize that version of myself. I can't believe that there was part of me, however large and overpowering, that wanted those things. In the past six years, I have realized that children are not in my future. I may never get married if I keep up with the attitude I have toward life -- I don't mean that in the negative, teeny-bopper bad attitude way; I honestly can't see it working for me and the way I view the world. While I was in college, I changed majors four times and landed on a major that won't lead to a career, but had classes and professors I enjoyed, so why not?

...Of course, now I have a part-time job that, while I laugh my ass off all day with some really fantastic people, is the exact opposite of fulfilling and usually leaves me flat broke by the end of bill-paying time. I have little to no qualifications for "real" jobs and I usually spend my work days discussing how little I actually want to be there.

I don't want this blog to become a whining mess, though. I have other outlets for that (ahem, sorry, Twitter followers). I miss writing. I was talking with some coworkers at lunch today, and reminded myself that I used to win awards for my poetry and journalism. I'm always going to regret never changing my major to communications, but if I don't remind myself that regret does not accomplish anything, I'm never going to get anything but a bad mood. The only thing I can do is try again, in different ways... so here I am. If no one reads this, that's okay. But I desperately want to reach out to people, whether that be in funny or meaningful ways. 

I don't know where this post is going, and I hate those cliche first posts so... this is it for now. Hopefully, I won't abandon this like I have so many other blogs.